“Self-esteem is as necessary to the spirit as food is to the body.”

“Self-esteem is as necessary

to the spirit as food is to the body.” 

~ Dr. Maxwell Maltz

Once upon a time there were two seven-year-old boys, named Bruce and David. They both had mothers who loved them very much.
Each boy's day began differently. The first thing Bruce heard when he awakened in the morning was , " Get up now, Bruce! You are going to be late for school again."

Bruce got up, dressed himself - except for his shoes and came in for breakfast. Mother said, " Where are your shoes? Are you planning to go to school barefoot?........ And look at what you are wearing! That blue sweater looks awful with that green shirt... Bruce dear, what have you done to your pants? They are ripped. I want you to change them after breakfast. No child of mine is going to school with torn pants... Now watch how you pour your juice. Don't spill it the way you usually do!"

Bruce poured and spilled. Mother was exasperated. As she mopped up the mess, she said " I dont know what to do with you."Bruce mumbled something to himself. " What was that? Mother asked. "There you go mumbling again."

Bruce finished his breakfast in silence. Then he changed his pants, put on his shoes, collected his books and left for school. His mother called out, " Bruce , you forgot your lunch! If your head weren't screwed on to your shoulders, I bet you'd forget that too."

Bruce took his lunch and as he started out the door again, mother reminded him , " Now, be sure to behave at school today."


David lived across the street. The first thing he heard in the morning was , " Seven 0'clock , David. Do you want to get up now or take five more minutes?" David rolled over and yawned. "Five more minutes," he mumbled.


Later he came to breakfast dressed, except for his shoes. Mother said, " Hey, you are dressed already. All you have to put on are your shoes! ..... Uh, oh- there is a rip in your seam of your pants. Looks as if the whole side could split. Shall I sew it up on your while you stand up or would you rather change?" David thought for a second and said " I'll change after breakfast." Then he sat down at the table and poured his juice. He spilled some.

" The clean up rag is in the sink" Mother called over her shoulder as she continued making his lunch. David got the rag and wiped up the spill. They talked a while as David ate his breakfast. When he was finished, he changed his pants, put on his shoes, collected his books and left for school - with out his lunch.

Mother called after him, " David, your lunch!" He ran back to get it and thanked her. As she handed it to him, she said, " See you later!"


Both Bruce and David had the same teacher. During the day teacher told the class, " Children, as you already know, we 'll be putting on our Columbus Day play next week. We need a volunteer to paint a colourful welcome sign on our classroom door. We also need a volunteer to pour and serve the lemonade for our guests after the play. And finally, we need some one who will go around to the other third-grade classes and make a short speech inviting every one to our play and telling them the time day, and place."

Some of the children raised their hands immediately, some raised their hands tentatively, and some didn't raise their hands at all.

Our story stops here. Thats all we know. About what happened afterwards, we can only guess. But it certainly does leave us with food for thought. Take a moment now to consider these questions and answer them for yourself.

1. Would David be likely to raise his hand to volunteer?
2. Would Bruce?
3. What is the relationship between how children think of themselves and their willingness to accept challenges or risk failure?
4. What is the relationship between how children think of themselves and the kind of goals they set for themselves?

- Extract from the book

" How to Talk so Kids will Listen & Listen so kids will Talk"- By Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish