Paradox behind praising kids : Article by Subha Parthasarathy, Magichive. A must read. 

http://www.deccanherald.com/content/331586/paradox-behind-praising.html

Cheers! Mathangi. Co founder ThinkBag.

Good Morning Dosto:: A Poem for Parents ~ 
If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd finger-paint more and point the finger less.
I'd do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I'd run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd teach less about the love of power,
And more about the power of love.

Thinking with your child

(continuation of Lateral thinking series….)

How can the child be encouraged to think in “problem” situations?

As parents, most of us are quick to offer solutions to “problem” situations. Each “problem” situation can be turned into an exercise that enables the child to think on his or her own. You may even simulate situations that let the child think and decide.

Situation 1: You are playing snakes and ladders with your child. The dice is lost or you hide it. Encourage the child to think of the possible ways to play the game. If the child has trouble starting, prompt with an option or two. 1) search for the dice 2) write 1 to 6 in chits and use it in place of the dice 3) buy another dice. 4)create a dice using a cube box ……

Situation 2: Your child is playing in the park and picks up a fight with another child. The immediate reaction is to offer a solution. Why not allow the child to decide ? Support where required with prompts like 1) Go to another park 2) resolve the fight by talking 3) play a game that both children like 4)ignore the child…………

Situation 3 : Your child refuses to share a toy with another child. Instead of coercing the child to share or offering a quick solution, explore several options with your child. 1) give one and take one 2) choose another game that both children would like to share and play 3) choose another day to play together 4)both children play different games on their own 5).........

A simple thumb rule: Stretch your child’s imagination only to the extent the child is comfortable. If your child does not want to offer solutions, so be it!!! Just sow the thought in your child.

HAPPY THINKING WITH YOUR CHILD...

Lateral thinking in children

How can we inculcate lateral thinking in children?

Lateral thinking is concerned with the generation of new ideas…

Lateral thinking is also concerned with breaking out of the concept presence of old ideas. This leads to changes in attitude and approach; to looking in a different way at things which have always been looked at in the same way. Liberation from old ideas and the stimulation of new ones are twin aspects of lateral thinking.
(Edward de Bono, Lateral Thinking)

It is a myth that “out of the box “thinking cannot be inculcated. We bring a series of thought provoking activities that will help the child think laterally.
Here is what we can suggest for today.
Ask your child different uses of a common object. For instance, what all can you do with a ruler apart from measuring and drawing a straight line? I asked my 5 year old what all can a shop be used for apart from selling goods; he came up with 5 different options: one was “use it as a shelter when it rains”.
When we practice this repeatedly, the child does not take any object for granted. So, the child can build toys out of scrap. The child can use his school bag to protect himself /herself from rain. And so on………
We request each of you to share more such activities with this community.
So , wishing you and your child a happy lateral thinking!!

Why not involve children in household chores?

When you mop, your little one is ready to mop. When you chop, your little one is ready to chop. Your little one does not mind mopping the rest rooms either! And then, there are times when you have an urgent chore to do and your kid wants you for something else.

Are there times you wish you could do your daily work without such interruptions? What if you involve your little one in the household chores? Why not? Our daily chores that are so very mundane for us actually fascinate children.  Which are the household chores into which the child can be involved?  Please share your experience and suggestions.

Sweeping helps them learn the importance of cleanliness.

Mashing potatoes : All the finger muscles are exercised here; and there are higher changes of eating what they cook, Is it not?

Channelising energy in children

Channelising energy in children

"My child is full of energy the whole day. Are there any activities that can channelise this energy?" Based on a request from one of the parents, we share with you some activities that kinesthetic children might like.

“Self-esteem is as necessary to the spirit as food is to the body.”

“Self-esteem is as necessary

to the spirit as food is to the body.” 

~ Dr. Maxwell Maltz

Once upon a time there were two seven-year-old boys, named Bruce and David. They both had mothers who loved them very much.
Each boy's day began differently. The first thing Bruce heard when he awakened in the morning was , " Get up now, Bruce! You are going to be late for school again."

Bruce got up, dressed himself - except for his shoes and came in for breakfast. Mother said, " Where are your shoes? Are you planning to go to school barefoot?........ And look at what you are wearing! That blue sweater looks awful with that green shirt... Bruce dear, what have you done to your pants? They are ripped. I want you to change them after breakfast. No child of mine is going to school with torn pants... Now watch how you pour your juice. Don't spill it the way you usually do!"

Bruce poured and spilled. Mother was exasperated. As she mopped up the mess, she said " I dont know what to do with you."Bruce mumbled something to himself. " What was that? Mother asked. "There you go mumbling again."

Bruce finished his breakfast in silence. Then he changed his pants, put on his shoes, collected his books and left for school. His mother called out, " Bruce , you forgot your lunch! If your head weren't screwed on to your shoulders, I bet you'd forget that too."

Bruce took his lunch and as he started out the door again, mother reminded him , " Now, be sure to behave at school today."


David lived across the street. The first thing he heard in the morning was , " Seven 0'clock , David. Do you want to get up now or take five more minutes?" David rolled over and yawned. "Five more minutes," he mumbled.


Later he came to breakfast dressed, except for his shoes. Mother said, " Hey, you are dressed already. All you have to put on are your shoes! ..... Uh, oh- there is a rip in your seam of your pants. Looks as if the whole side could split. Shall I sew it up on your while you stand up or would you rather change?" David thought for a second and said " I'll change after breakfast." Then he sat down at the table and poured his juice. He spilled some.

" The clean up rag is in the sink" Mother called over her shoulder as she continued making his lunch. David got the rag and wiped up the spill. They talked a while as David ate his breakfast. When he was finished, he changed his pants, put on his shoes, collected his books and left for school - with out his lunch.

Mother called after him, " David, your lunch!" He ran back to get it and thanked her. As she handed it to him, she said, " See you later!"


Both Bruce and David had the same teacher. During the day teacher told the class, " Children, as you already know, we 'll be putting on our Columbus Day play next week. We need a volunteer to paint a colourful welcome sign on our classroom door. We also need a volunteer to pour and serve the lemonade for our guests after the play. And finally, we need some one who will go around to the other third-grade classes and make a short speech inviting every one to our play and telling them the time day, and place."

Some of the children raised their hands immediately, some raised their hands tentatively, and some didn't raise their hands at all.

Our story stops here. Thats all we know. About what happened afterwards, we can only guess. But it certainly does leave us with food for thought. Take a moment now to consider these questions and answer them for yourself.

1. Would David be likely to raise his hand to volunteer?
2. Would Bruce?
3. What is the relationship between how children think of themselves and their willingness to accept challenges or risk failure?
4. What is the relationship between how children think of themselves and the kind of goals they set for themselves?

- Extract from the book

" How to Talk so Kids will Listen & Listen so kids will Talk"- By Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

Engage your child in thinking in free time

Engage your child in thinking in free time

What does your child do when you are waiting at the clinic , billing counter, railway station???
Some children explore on their own; there are others who get bored and still others who just want to leave the place.

Can these waiting instances be utilised for bonding with the child by playing a game or two?


For the 3-5 year olds:At the clinic, you can play games like : How many "+" signs can you spot? How many alphabet "A" can you spot in the chart?, even a pretend game of a doctor and patient.
At the billing counter: Lets count how long it takes for our turn. Lets identify objects of similar shapes in our cart. weave a story...
At the railway station:. Count the compartments, observe and name the clothes worn by different people, how many different types of travel bags did you notice... Sky is the limit here :)
For older children, you can spark engaging conversations starting from what a stethoscope does to how heart works. The child can also choose to seek answers from the doctor. At the billing counter, the child can be asked to calculate the change that needs to be given back to you or what are the roles and responsibilities of a super market manager! You can even play Pictionary with older children; all you need is a rough sheet of paper and pencil.
Or , you may choose to just listen to whatever your child says... Listening too is a great bonding exercise.
We also share what one parent Sowmya posted on our page :Another game we used to play in traffic jams - pat/shout on seeing a vehicle with double numbers - eg: on seeing a vehicle with number KA 05 N 7741, pat saying seven seven aloud.Thanx Sowmya for sharing.
HAPPY "WAITING"!!

Creative ways to empower our children to read

"The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more you learn, the more places you'll go." — Dr. Seuss. When it comes to reading, different parents have different concerns.  “My child likes to be read but does not like to read on his own.  It is difficult to make him sit and read. She likes to sit for hours with Barbie, but not with a book………”
Why not rekindle our creative self and weave reading into activities the child likes? Click on these photos for some suggestions.  Please share your ideas and experiences with this forum. Let us learn together!

How to raise a brighter child?

How to raise a brighter child?

Excerpts from the book, with the same title, written by Joan Beck.

1. Child’s useful level of intelligence can be raised by the way parents care for him in the first 6 years of life.

2. Just as a childs neural circuits for intelligence are hard wired at a very early age, so are her emotional circuits – in ways that will affect her temperament and her ability to learn the rest of her life.

With this context, we intend to create a community of parents like you who appreciate this philosophy. Let us share, learn, unlearn to empower our children and help them explore their life to the fullest extent.